Yuletide
by shadesoflight
Summary: Blair and Serena celebrate christmas. Waldsen femslash.


"Do you really think Blair wants us interrupting her at eight in the morning? Or Eleanor for that matter?", Lily asks, concern on her face at Serena who has piled up all her presents from under the tree and is now struggling to carry them.

"It's tradition!", Serena retorts from behind the stack of presents, attempting to balance them but failing as they keep falling out of her arms. She wonders how she'll manage to carry them from the hotel suite down to the limo and she can't remember why she decided not to put them into bags like Eric suggested but it's too late now so she decides she'll just blindly make her way to the elevator and pray that she doesn't break anything.

"Uh huh and you've got all your presents why exactly?", Lily asks but she helpfully takes some of the presents out of Serena's hands.

"Blair demanded I open them at casa de Waldorf", Serena says, gladly handing over the wrapped gifts to her mother, happy to finally be able to see clearly in front of her.

"Ah Blair's demands", Lily says with a note of affection in her voice. She hasn't seen Serena this happy or enthusiastic on a christmas day in years. Last christmas had definitely been missing the spirit of the young brunette.

"You've really missed her, haven't you?", Lily asks although the answer is obvious by how happy Serena is to be spending christmas day at the Waldorf's. She sets the bundle of presents down onto the table so she can fetch her coat and tell Eric to hurry up.

"Yeah, I have", Serena replies sincerely. She's already sure that this christmas day will be a hundreds times better than the last one.

--

"Lillian! And Eric. How nice to see you!", Howard greets each of the Van Der Woodsens with a hug when they walk into the Waldorf kitchen. He gives a small laugh at Serena who has somehow, without really knowing how, ended up carrying both her own presents and Eric's presents from the limo. "And Serena! I didn't recognize you behind all the gifts".

Someone who Serena guesses must be Roman helps her with some of the gifts and she smiles gratefully, introducing herself.

"Ah, of course. Serena. Blair's upstairs. We tried to get her down for a celebratory christmas morning drink but she was busy rearranging the presents under the tree again", Roman tells her and Serena thinks he seems like a nice guy. She's glad that Blair's told her she's trying harder to get along with him.

Serena quickly departs off to the other room, bringing some of the presents with her and leaving the rest on the kitchen table. She's unsure what the topic of conversation will be in the kitchen but she's certain that she'd rather be wishing Blair a merry christmas.

Serena walks into the sitting room and her eyes instantly find Blair on her knees under the christmas tree, examining a boxed present. She holds it to her ear and Serena can see that Blair's face is screwed up in confusion at the unidentifiable sound that rings back at her. Serena can't help but laugh because every year (with the exception of last year and one other year) Blair tries to guess at the presents under the tree and usually at least one of the presents leaves her guessing.

"Did you work out what it is yet?", Serena asks from the doorway. A smile spreads over Blair's own face at Serena's voice as she puts the present back down under the tree.

"No". Blair doesn't sound disappointed though. The familiarity of not knowing is comforting. The sound of Serena's voice behind her is comforting. "There's always one, right?".

"There's always one", Serena repeats. She kneels down alongside Blair with the presents and puts them under the tree, merging the Waldorf's presents in with the Van Der Woodsen's presents and when she has finished, Blair thinks that the tree looks better, more normal somehow.

Blair pulls Serena into a hug, wrapping her arms tightly around Serena's neck. The scent of Blair's shampoo, cinnamon and coconut, tickles Serena's nose and Serena breathes it in, another thing that's familiar and comforting this christmas.

"Merry christmas, B", Serena says, her nose nuzzling into the warm skin of Blair's neck.

"Merry christmas, S", Blair smiles, leaning into the blonde's body.

--

"One blueberry pie", Serena beams proudly, taking the tray out of the oven in the Waldorf kitchen and putting it down next to Blair who has seated herself on the counter top. Blair had collected together the ingredients and had done more than her fair share of putting the cake together so it had seemed only right that Serena had the duty of taking it out of the oven. Serena lifts the tray a little higher to her face, smells the blueberry of the pie and offers it up to Blair who laughs but humours her, inhaling the sweet scent happily.

Serena sets the baking tray down onto the table carefully and then Blair's arms pull round her waist, dragging her backwards into Blair's arms. Serena enjoys the comforting embrace and the feel of Blair's arms wrapped around her waist. She enjoys the way she can lean her body into Blair's and feel secure.

"What are you thinking about?", Blair asks inquisitively, curious to know why Serena has gone silent. She holds Serena pressed to her body with one arm and runs the fingers of her other hand through strands of Serena's hair, watching as it falls down and merges alongside her own hair.

"Blueberry pie", Serena jokes. Blair's heeled shoes come to rest just below her hips. She can hear the sound of the brunette's breathing pattern close to her ear and it's still enough to drive her crazy, even after six months.

"Really?", Blair waggles her eyebrows suggestively and Serena turns herself around so she can face Blair. Blair's legs instinctively wrap around Serena's waist and pull her closer until the blonde's lithe body is pressed up against her own again.

"There's a lot you can do with blueberry pie you know", Serena counters in an equally suggestive tone. She leans just the slightest bit more forward and traces over the outline of Blair's mouth loosely with a finger. Blair grins and takes Serena's finger into her mouth, still tasting blueberry on it from the sneaky eating of the ingredients for the pie. Serena feels her mind begin to cloud just from the sight.

"You're amazing", Serena says. She wants to find the perfect words to tell Blair how much it means to her to be there but she can't so she just strokes over Blair's cheek with her thumb in thought.

"I've been told", Blair smirks.

--

Blair takes one look at the food on her plate and that familiar sense of dread begins to rise from deep inside her. She hates that a measly plate of food, on christmas day of all days, can still make her feel like this. So weak, so powerless, so small. The doctor told her it would take a while to fully beat the eating disorder but Blair can't help but wish she was stronger, that every day she wasn't trying to fight a battle with herself to not go to the bathroom and make herself throw up after meals. If anything, christmas is one of the worst days to make it through. On a day like christmas day with food covering basically every surface in the household, it's a lot harder to fight with the voice that tells her she's not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough.

Serena knows all about it though. She's not clueless enough to think that she can take away the eating disorder from Blair and make it undesirable for her to act on it when she's had a tough day but she can help her through it. The same as always. Only now it's slightly different. Serena knows Blair's getting stronger every day. Serena tries to reassure Blair every day that she _is_ good enough, she _is_ pretty enough and up until now it has helped. Serena gets a little scared every day that Blair will relapse again but things are definitely getting better.

"Are you all right Blair?", Eleanor asks from the opposite side of the table, concern on her face. It frustrates Blair when her mother feels the need to ask the same question at every social gathering they have and sometimes she just wants to tell her mother to leave her alone to deal with it but mostly she knows that her mother is just worried for her in the same way that Serena is.

Serena supportively squeezes Blair's hand under the table and entwines Blair's fingers with her own. Serena waits until Blair gives a small nod and Serena eats her own food slower so Blair doesn't feel so alone when she finishes the meal later than everybody else.

--

"Um, surprise me", Serena says, instantly regretting it because it's blindingly obvious what movie Blair will come back with. The same movie she always wants to watch whenever anybody asks her, no matter what the occasion is: 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'.

Sure enough, two minutes later and the face of Audrey Hepburn is flashing over the television screen and Blair is settling down next to Serena whilst everybody else is in the other room having after dinner drinks. Serena doesn't feel like drinking, the majority of the time she drinks to forget. After things happened with Nate, after things happened with Georgina, she got drunk to make the bad things seem like they weren't quite so bad. She doesn't want to forget today, especially not the way Blair leans her body into her whilst she's enjoying every minute of the movie that she has undoubtedly seen countless numbers of times.

Blair laughs quietly and Serena feels it against her stomach. It isn't totally ideal for either of them, Serena wants to touch Blair, kiss her. In fact, she never wants to stop touching or kissing Blair but they haven't worked out a way to tell Lily or Eleanor about their relationship so for now, this level of intimacy will be ok. Eric knows though and it's a relief to have somebody know after six months. The whole telling the parents thing can wait until after christmas.

"Now your turn", Blair says, nudging Serena after the movie has finished and she has recited all of her favourite lines and made a point of telling Serena why those lines are her favourites and Serena has listened to every word even though she has heard it all before, just because the sound of Blair's voice is nice. Serena decides on 'Pretty Woman' for her choice.

"It's the hooker with a heart thing, right?. That's what makes you like the movie?", Blair questions once the movie has been loaded into the dvd player and has begun to play. Serena thinks about the question, she's never really thought about it before but now that she has it's quite obvious why she likes the movie.

"It's the happy ending", Serena concludes, sure that's what it is that makes the movie so attractive. As the movie starts and Serena's attention goes to the screen, Blair wants to ask if Serena thinks that happy endings really are possible, if something so unlikely can work out anyway. She doesn't ask it though because it's pretty obvious that Serena does think that. Blair can't stop thinking about it for the entire duration of the movie and by the end, she's pretty sure that a certain type of happy ending exists.

--

By seven p.m, Blair is dancing around in the sitting room in her new chanel heels to the sound of jazz music coming from the surround sound stereo that Eleanor had installed. She dances alongside Harold and Roman, laughing and Serena can't help but grin at the sight.

"I haven't seen you smile that much for a long time", Eric says, coming to sit next to Serena. It's true, Serena had been a lot happier lately, all of which he guessed could be put down to her developing relationship with Blair. "You look all lit up like...", Eric searches for a comparison "...a christmas tree", he finishes lamely and Serena laughs.

"I'm _not_!", Serena says defensively even though she knows it's obvious that she is.

"Ok then, like the Eiffel Tower", Eric jokes and Serena swats him on the arm. He's quiet for a second but then continues, a grin on his face, "Fairy lights?". Serena rolls her eyes at him. "I'm running out of things that light up here". Serena's eyes move back onto Blair who is giving her a come hither look that Serena is powerless to resist so she lets Blair pull her into a dance.

Serena doesn't know how long they dance but she does realise quickly that it's a way to get the contact she craves with Blair without seeming too suspicious so she stays there a long time, listening to Harold and Roman talk about the different types of music and clubs in France and dances with Blair, liking the way they move together.

--

Serena climbs under the covers next to Blair, wrapping an arm around her waist protectively and placing a kiss on the nape of her neck. She pulls Blair's hair aside and kisses down her exposed neck, tracing a finger down it after she's finished.

Blair shifts her body and turns over, so she can face Serena. Her eyes meets Serena's and she quickly leans in for a kiss. Her mouth moves eagerly against Serena's, searching the familiar depths of Serena's own mouth with her tongue and Serena sighs contentedly at the feel. She's sure she'll never get too much of this, too much of Blair's lips moving against her own, Blair's tongue tracing the outline of her mouth before dipping inside. It still makes her feel the slightest bit light-headed but she never wants to stop.

Blair's mouth runs down the column of Serena's neck, laying soft kisses there and Serena moans. Her eyes flutter closed as Blair's lips make their way across her collarbone, before they move upwards, tracing the path they just came from, repeating every movement, eliciting every sigh and then return back to move against Serena's mouth once more.

"Merry christmas B", Serena whispers against Blair's lips. She doesn't know why she says it, it just seems like the right thing to say and Blair smiles.

"Merry christmas S", Blair repeats the earlier greeting. Her hands tangle in Serena's hair as she kisses Serena again with more purpose this time. Serena's tongue moves alongside her own and they both moan at the familiar sweetness of the kiss. It's familiar and right and Serena will let Blair go as slow as she needs to. The last thing she wants is Blair putting out for her on christmas day because she feels some kind of need to.

"It's okay", Blair says in a whisper but her tone is certain, unfaltering. She looks at the anxious look on Serena's face and reassures her. "I'm sure", Blair nods and Serena feels that this is all pretty much perfect. It's perfect as her mouth begins to move against Blair's again, it's perfect as she lifts Blair's slip off her shoulders and it's perfect as she explores every inch and every curve of Blair's body to the sound of the jazz music that is continuing to play from downstairs.


End file.
